Missing My Mom

In February it will be coming up on 2 years since my Mom past. As the time goes by it doesn't feel like it's been that long. The pain is still so fresh and feels like it was just yesterday.  I don't think I'll ever get over it. I've learned to cope with her being gone but it still feels like a bad dream. I'm not sure how I even survived it. You really don't know how much you can handle until it's presented to you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her, wonder what she's doing, or what she would do in every situation that araises. Sometimes I feel so alone but I know she's here with me. Trying to remind myself of how much she was suffering and that now she's at peace. But the selfishness in me still wants her near. I would never want her to suffer though. Being the soul caretaker for someone who is battling cancer is very hard but also very rewarding. Although she was in constant pain she still managed to have good times and we still had quite a few laughs. Even though our days were filled with chemo and radiation treatments we still bonded so much. I was honored to be by her side in her worst of times and I'm so thankful that she got to pass away at home in peace.  If that is the only thing I could of done to help her it was to let her go her way. I will never forget the last 24 hours we spent together. I was her advocate for her whole journey. Trying to stay strong and getting the rest of the family to follow her wishes. Then when it came to the final hours I broke down. My heart wasn't ready. All those speeches telling everyone to let her do it her way and to let her stop fighting the fight if that's how she felt and at the end it was me who didn't want to let go. We all sat surrounding her bed for the whole night. At around 3am we all ended up falling asleep except for my brother. He stayed awake and watched her so I could rest for a few hours. He woke me up at 9am and told me he had to take his wife home to get her medicine. As soon as he left I went in to sit with Mom and as soon as I sat down and held her hand, told her I was there and comforted her she took her last breath and was gone. I've never seen anyone die before but somehow I just knew she was gone. I told her that I loved her and that it was okay for her to go. All while she was taking her last breath. I walked in to the living room and looked at my dad and said she's gone. And my eyes filled with tears. Then I called up my brother and told him to come back and that she was gone and to please drive safe. Hospice showed up to declare her passed and then called the funeral home. I then gave my Mom hugs and kisses for the last time and told her that I loved her and that my sister and niece loved her too very much. I wish I could of spent more time with her and I know I could of by my concern was letting her go before Mags woke up. I didn't know how she would react or want her to see our Mom being carried out of the house in sheets. It was the hardest day of my life. And still feels like yesterday. 

L'Oreal Paris Voluminous VoxBox

This was the voxbox I recieved from Influenster for free to review my honest opinion. I am addicted and infatuated with these products. Every single one of them. I am most excited about the mascara primer and mascara. I have never ever tried mascara primer nor had any knowledge it even existed. I am someone who has barely noticeable lashes. I tried these two products and I was blown away at how beautiful they made my eyelashes look! For once I felt so completely flawless. I am not one to use fake lashes. I tried before and it was an epic fail. So to have these are a lifesaver. I will most definitely have these on my to buy list every time I run out! These are now a MUST HAVE! I cant even begin to express how beautiful I felt. The infallible eyeliner was slim and goes on so smoothly. It makes it so much easier to not make a mess! I also was very impressed with the eye shadow. It was truly beautiful together. The whole look was flawless! I paired all these products with the L'Oreal Lumi foundation! They went together nicely. I love the fact that the eye brow palette came with tiny tweezers. Although they are rather difficult to use when you have chubby fingers. But they are cute. It also came with a little eye brow brush. 

Here is my finished look. I love it! Thank you L'Oreal! Your products are AH-mazing!! And thank you Influenster!

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ZzzQuil

I received ZzzQuil from Influenster for free. To share my honest review. I had trouble sleeping the other night and needed some help. I'm not one to use or take lots of medicine. But I decided to give it a try. I was so restless and so tired but could not get my brain to shut off and let me sleep. Anxiety often keeps my brain busy. I popped these ZzzQuil and fell asleep fairly quick. I got a good nights sleep and woke up feeling refreshed and alert. I didn't feel drowsy or groggy. I felt like I got the right amount of sleep.  I would definitely recommend this to anyone who needs a little boost to get more sleep. I love that these are non-habit forming. So if I need them a few nights a week I don't have to worry about getting addicted to them. Although the rest I got might already have me addicted! 

L'Oreal Paris EverPure

This is my first time using L'Oreal Paris EverPure products and I have to say these products are amazing. They are also the first line of vegan hair care products I have tested. I absolutely am in love with them. I have color-treated hair and everyone knows that means your hair is brittle and dry and damaged. These products help to repair damaged color treated hair. They work excellent! They leave my hair feeling refreshed. So healthy and shiny. After using them its like a breath of fresh air. It just makes you feel good! I love the fact that they are specifically for my type of hair and that they are sulfate-free. I love the hair mask. It leaves my hair so baby soft and silky. I would recommend these to anyone. They also have other lines for different hair types.  I can use these products and don't have to feel guilty putting all those nasty chemicals in my hair. Its made my hair stronger already. I've gotten compliments about how vibrant my hair looks. It makes me feel so much more confident. I do not have to hide my hair in a pony tail when I go out of the house. I love dying my hair but its so harmful for my hair but thanks to these products I don't have to worry about that anymore. 

I received these products free for testing through Influenster. Sign up today!